Some get into it immediately, some don't. And it's alright. It took me time to get used to a new school, hostel, work, my role as a wife. In the same way, I need time transform into a mother.
What works for others won't work for you:
So just listen when advices come in plenty. If it works for you, great. If it doesn't, try something else. Do not, under any circumstance compare your children with others. Most of the people, most of the time, exaggerate about their kid's goodness, swiftness and smartness. As parents, they do get carried away - Bless them! They don't do it intentionally, so it isn't fair to compare your child with their perceived image of their children. If your child is quick in one aspect of development, he will be slow in another. That is nature's way.
Perfections and Imperfections:
If there is a perfect mother and her perfect children, I am never going to find her. So keep your expectations realistic. Pamper yourself now and then, you deserve it, tough mamma. If you have a spotless house, you compromise on time with your children. If you have time to take a nap, you have a room full of dirty laundry. We are all given only 24 hours in a day, no matter who we are, and no matter how much we strive. What matters is that the children aren't hungry, aren't addicted to TV, that they know how to behave with kids and adults, be kind to siblings, and that they learn to tell the truth. These are the ones that truly matters.
Distraction works magic:
To make a child stop crying, distract him with a bird. To make her eat, distract her with a story. To make him to wear his clothes, distract with a song. To make her brush her teeth, distract with a game. Distractions achieve the impossible in a fun and easy way. They achieve the end without resorting to tears, threats and screams. Kisses are distractions too, when they hurt their little toes and fingers.
There is humor in everything:
It's true. You just need to remember to laugh. We had just gotten home after a long, exhausting day. I left Ryan playing in the living room with Andrew, and went to put Liana to sleep. I had let Ryan without his diaper to air dry for the few minutes I was away. I entered the living room with a fresh diaper in hand, thinking I could rest after I put this on. Andrew was watching the T.V just as I had left him, Ryan grinned on seeing me as usual, BUT there was baby poo all over the floor. ''What's that?'' I asked. ''Why? What happened?'' asked Andrew not realizing he had been sitting on an island surrounded by poo. We broke out laughing and Ryan joined in our laughter. Humor helped. I rushed to wash the baby, Andrew cleaned up the floor. And then we got to rest.
Pee, Pii, Poo, Pum:
No baby subject is complete without it's share of Pee and Poo. It starts from the hour they are born, and lasts for a few years. The more you struggle with it, the longer you struggle. After one kid has been successfully potty trained, I know my next would be too - When, where and how, I do not know. But he will be trained, and I am satisfied.
Love is Patient:
To be in plain sight and believe he is hiding; to pull out clothes from the drawer; to want to listen to the same story over and over again; to bang pots and pans; to play with food and pour juice on herself... we have all done it and forgotten. We eventually grew up, and we will never do it again. So will they grow up. So will they stop doing it. While they do, be there for them, be with them, and cherish it while it lasts. Baby wipes are wonderful things invented for us mommies. So are band aids. Let them get dirty, let them fall down and get hurt. Let them chew on grass, step on dirt, and tear their clothes. Let them run naked around the house. Don't let's rob them of life's simple pleasures.
Love Forgives:
The night is as much a time for regrets, as it is for rest. But forgive yourself - it gives you a clear perspective. Forgive yourself, for you are only human. Forgive yourself, because you learnt from it. Forgive yourself, you know you can't undo it. Above all, forgive yourself for you tried, and still keep trying. Forgive yourself, for you would do anything for your children, and would fight the whole world for their sake.
Read, Sing, Play and Pray with them:
They don't need you to read to them for much longer. Soon they will learn to read, make friends to play with. So all you have is the few toddler years to hold on to. That is the most frustrating time as well. So remember to say your prayers first thing in the morning, and all throughout the day. With the best of intentions and in the most perfect situations, if you aren't armored with God's protection, you will have much to regret as the day ends. Let them meet their grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins as often as they can. Technology is no substitute for human love. Help them to know it. Say I love you to them everyday, be generous with hugs and kisses; be on the floor with them, play make believe...Be a parent, be a friend. Equip them with life's lessons. You won't be with them forever, and they will be facing the world with what you have equipped them with. Make good use of your limited time.
As surely as the sun rises, so does the moon :
Parents and children take turns at playing Angels and demons. But thankfully night gives us perspective, and restores to us our precious angels. We have only so many days to spend with our children, and with every rising of the moon, one more day ends. These little beings sleeping serenely, their breathing so even, the twitching of tiny fingers and feet as they dream - few things on earth are more beautiful than that.
If you wait, you wait forever:
Don't wait for the weather to improve, for the weekends to arrive, for the colds to go away, for work pressure to come down, for laziness to fly out of the window. They have a way of coming up all the year round. Don't let anything stop you from making plans with your family and sticking to them. Decide to go ahead in spite of obstacles. At no age are these going to stop. Every adventure, every road trip, every walk in the park builds up happy memories and rejuvenates family ties.
Keep a record of everything:
Photos, videos, audios. Living the moment is all well, but our memories fade, and these recordings bring back the memories. You will never be able to hear those tiny voices ever again for real, or caress their soft cheeks, wipe away their chocolate slathered face, but...you can relive a little bit through these. Just remember to enjoy your children through your eyes, while the camera does its work.
Another 3 years, and hopefully, I'll have some more wisdom to tell my 30 year old self. :D
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