Expanding Boundaries

[This post has been in my draft for 2 years now. I wrote it when Ryan was 2. He's 4 now. I am no longer a SAHM, and we have relocated back to our hometown in India. Although, much has changed from 2018, a lot of these still holds true! I am posting it now for nostalgia sake.]

     Now that Liana has her own little brother to play with, I spend more of my time just watching and listening to them. Even when they are playing together, surprisingly, they always play around me. Their games and activities move about the house with me, and I am able to observe and partake in their games. I am able to put in a word when limits are crossed, or chip in when help is needed. I am the center of their universe, and our family revolves around me. As a SAHM, I have the luxury of time. And I take great delight in watching them run around, creating havoc on the way. Liana is an avid reader, and it is a pretty picture to see Liana intently bent over a book, and Ryan sitting close to her with a picture book feigning his sister's serious look.

     Not a day passes by without my realizing how blessed the kids are to have each other. Liana opens his chocolate for him before opening hers. Ryan has his biggest smile for his sister. If I am impatient with Ryan, Liana talks kindly to him. Ryan asks for a snack for his sister when I give him one. She watches over him when we are outside, and he trusts her.  To his 2 year old self, his 5 year old sister is bigger, stronger and all capable. We watch with amused fondness, this bond between our two precious children.

     Ryan awaits Liana's coming home from school. We have started skipping the afternoon nap hoping they'll hit the bed earlier at night. But they manage to get double the fun of extra play time at noon, and some more fun time squeezed in before bed time.

     The kids have recently started playing together with their friends from our 14th floor. They are always waiting for the afternoon to come and listen for doors opening - to start the fun. While it gives me time to sit down with a book, or catch up on some adult time with my friendly neighbors, I do miss being the center of my kids world. At times, I feel a tinge of jealousy as  my son skips, hops and runs into my neighbor's open arms. I miss their constant presence and they prefer being around with friends of their own size. While the kids learn sharing, caring, patience, tolerance, taking turns... I learn about stepping back and letting go - even if it is easier said.

     I remember how difficult it was to send Liana to school - to not being able to see her, or give her a hurried kiss; to not hear her voice echoing around the house - even if for only 4 hours in a day. When I got used to it, the kids have grown one step ahead. It is as if the heart always longs for what was, and is in a perpetual state of fondness for what is gone.

     I am adult enough to know this is how it should be, and I go about my work. I hear the kids move into the corridor to play, and I can hear them talk. I can make out Liana's voice saying, "My mummy can... I know, let's ask my mom... My mummy knows everything..."

I smile to myself.

I am still the center of their universe, at least for a little while longer.

A third slice of life

Close Shave:

At a Christian Youth camp, my group was led by a young lady who was friendly, pious and prayerful.

On day 2, she was just finishing up some inspirational story from the Bible, (I don't have the vaguest idea what it was about, all I remember is what followed. Wicked me!). She paused, gazed at each one of us to see how much of her teachings had been sown in our hearts.

"Now, if you have any questions, you can ask me." She said earnestly.

"Neenga shave pannuvingalo? (Which translates to "Do you shave?") asked one girl from my group.

Stunned silence ensued.

"I wax".

(Then in an undertone: "Ennatha kaeka sonna ennatha kaekura paaru." (the closest translation comes to : What I expected them to ask, and look at what she asks)

That she had uttered anything out of the ordinary didn't occur to the questioner. She seemed satisfied with the answer given.

Predictably, I was beyond hope of recovery. I was thankful for the long prayer that followed.

The fight for Liana's tooth:

Liana's baby teeth seem to be in a hurry to give way to new ones. When the first one came off, she asked if tooth fairy was real. She was hanging on my word. Even after more than 6 years, we are still undecided whether to encourage the kids with ideas of Santa, magic and the like. So I said, "I am not sure. Why don't you get it nice and ready and keep your teeth under your pillow tonight?"

At night we took away the tooth and placed a baby fork and spoon instead.

(Tooth Fairy drawn by Liana)

Liana woke up early next morning and sat up. She kept looking straight ahead for sometime, as if trying to decide something. Then she took courage and cautiously peeped under her pillow. Then she grinned wide. "So the tooth fairy is for real..." she exclaimed excitedly. "I am going to keep this safe forever."

Two more teeth went to the tooth fairy.

I was running out of trinkets. But with the 4th Liana started crying and saying she didn't want to part with her tooth. She cried defiantly, "I don't want to give this tooth to the tooth fairy. It's mine." I tried convincing her that the poor tooth fairy wasn't a thief who stole teeth by night.

When the 5th tooth fell, Liana was toying with it, with a shrewd expression on her 6 year old face. When I asked her, she said sounding preteeny, "Why should I give this to the tooth fairy? I'll get only one present anyway... I get lots more for my birthdays and Christmas. Hmph!"

I was glad Tooth fairy wasn't real. She was saved much embarrassment.

Face Saver:

I was wondering why we were being directed to the men's section for Liana's haircut. Apparently, only the men were trained in hairstyling little girls. 

The staff assured me there was only one gentleman in the gents section. And he also had his daughter with him. So I agreed. The 'gentleman' turned out to be a man, 'temporarily blinded' with some Green paste. It was applied with finesse, covering even to his eyelids. He seemed content, and blissfully ignorant of my presence. 

A small voice broke the silence. "Poo" it said, and Pandemonium struck.

The father sat up, as if lightning had struck him. But he couldn't open his eyes for all the money in the world. 

The staff started running around with no clue as to why. Instinct told them they 'had' to run.

(Our expression candidly captured)

"Papa is here, papa is here" said the poor father with a deep chord of panic in his voice. The little one was running around holding her bottom.

One lady staff was noosed and brought to help clean up the child. She clearly resented her gender at that moment. But the child refused to go to her and she was saved.

To escape from everyone, the child sprang on to her father's lap - to her safe haven. A minute later, there was silence. She had fallen fast asleep.

No one dared to break the silence.