Everything went super fast after that. Lecture classes and practical classes, tests. It was fun. I was a good student, and I learnt fast. My instructor had nothing but praise for my driving. The day of the test dawned, and hearing drum rolls in my brain, I went in humming a tune. I had made it a big occasion, shopping for new clothes, and looking my best, for the license photo :D. The examiner and two other women were in the car with me. We had to take turns to drive from the institute to the way back during which time we'd each be tested on various parameters. I was the first to go, as I had secretly hoped. Everything went smooth, but for instances when the examiner held the steering once, and the brake once - both which I believed was uncalled for. Both the others ladies did major blunders - One in her 3rd attempt, the other in her 4th. It's not uncommon for people to go on for 8 or more attempts. And the only question anyone asks is in which attempt they had managed to get their license. No one is judged for their many attempts. It is an accepted and integral part of life in Dubai. When we got down, the examiner told the other two that they had failed. I waited in the reception to be called, thinking how easy it had been, and wondering why everyone had said it was tough. I was called and handed over a sheet with "FAIL".
"Seriously?", I said.
"Yes" said the receptionist, looking cautious. I walked out staring at the sheet which had stated various errors on my part.
With renewed energy and vigor I went for eight more classes and arranged for the second attempt the following week. I hoped and prayed that I would get the other examiner, the one they said was nice and helpful. I decided to maintain a low profile for my own good. I got two of my wishes this time - I was the first one to drive, and I got the other examiner. Only, this examiner scared the life out of me. Before 2 minutes into the test, she was warning me loudly that if I didn't drive properly she'd end the test. Yeah, like that would help. In another 2 minutes I had parked the car right in the middle of two parking lots and totally confused as to how to make it right. If she had kept quiet for a second, I could have thought through, but no. So totally ashamed of myself I got into the backseat, knowing the result well ahead this time. And what was worse, I was getting scared of driving now. Gone was the desire to get a license. With all the money pumped in, I was trapped. I called Andrew and he said enough was enough. A lot of money had been spent. We could try again later once I realized the seriousness of the whole thing. But of course he called back the next minute and said I could try as many times as I wanted to. ;) But I was crestfallen. I felt like a total failure. But I couldn't give up now, I had come so far. And I am not a quitter. So I booked the test for the next test day.
It was clear everyone had given up hope by then. Both my mom and Andrew told me not to worry, there was always a next time, my instructor let me off at the test site without so much as a "all the best." I had made all possible mistakes on that day's training with him. Things I hadn't even known one could err at. And a very scared me walked in, and when I passed the examiner I forgot all that I remembered. I went straight to the ladies room and stood there before the mirror, praying in my heart for a very long time. "Lord, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this on my own. Help me out." I kept repeating. And then it happened. Peace descended on me and I was not afraid anymore. "God, I have nothing to fear, cause you are with me." It wasn't me and the examiner anymore. God was with me. I still had an hour before the test, and I went out. They asked if I could go immediately, someone hadn't turned up. It was examiner from round 2, but I am not afraid, remember? I was the first to go again. I drove well, and I could see the examiner was pleased. She was even smiling, so maybe she wasn't bad after all. I was asked to park the car, I did, perfectly. She smiled, and said, "Thank you. Next." I was so happy, I changed the gear to parking, but forgot the handbrake. There was a little jolt when I took my foot off the foot brake, but I immediately set it right. I hated myself for that slip. I could be failed for that.
There was one other girl in the car with me. She happened to be the daughter of a staff at the institute and knows everyone there, confidently, speaking to the examiner in Arabic. I've heard that only about 1(or no one) in 3 pass. If it was true, I had a tough chance, but then I prayed. Nearing the institute I started panicking again, and I prayed, "God if I get my license, I'll thank you on my knees over there"
I waited in the reception to be called. They handed me a sheet.
"Congrats!"
"Seriously?"
"Yes" said the same receptionist, laughing.
The other girl had failed. I went to my seat and kept my promise to God. The first two times, I had prayed, but it was always "Me". Only on the third attempt did I submit it all to God, acknowledging his supremacy and my weakness. This time I had hoped that I wouldn't be asked to go first, and that I won't get examiner number 2. But God had willed me to succeed with both these, so that no one could say it was coincidence that I got it. Or luck.
Called Andrew and told I had failed, he said, "It's okay. When is the next test" And it was time to celebrate.
At this time, I wish to add two other instances where I have experienced God's miracles.
When I was 17, I started getting severe head aches, and testing my eyes, found that I needed a correction in one eye +1.5. I wore specs at home, and lens outside. It became a part of life, checking my eye every year at different places, the power was constant, changing just once in 8 years. A few days before my wedding I attended a convention of Mohan C. Lazarus and he asked everyone to pray for healing touching the place that needed to be healed. I was watching for sometime thinking I had nothing that needed healing, and I was perfectly well, when I remembered my eye. I kept my hand on my eye, and prayed. On going home I immediately checked if the vision was corrected, it wasn't. I thought it might take time, and then with the wedding forgot about it. A few weeks after our wedding, I had moved to Dubai, and I started getting the intense headaches again. We went to see an ophthalmologist, and after checking my eyes, he asked me why I wear glasses. He said it was +.25, which didn't need glasses at all. He said the headaches were because of that. He said I had been wearing the wrong glasses for years now. But we know the truth, right? :)
I was 20, and it was the day of our Viva. All of us had spent about 6 weeks gathering hands on experience and honing our management skills in various companies. I don't know about the others, but I had had a great time, making friends, enjoying the sights and scenes of Chennai. I had learnt much of course but none of these were in a systematic way which could be submitted as a big report with charts, strategy, numbers and formulae. The day found me leaning on the wall watching activity unfold. Everyone was discussing big things which didn't make sense. And to make matters worse they started calling us from the end of the attendance list, meaning I was to go in as the 5th person. I would have been the 55th by normal order, and I knew I was a goner. I felt I had no right to pray for a way out. Everyone else had worked so hard. Then I realized, He's my God, I can at least ask forgiveness for not having done my best, and in a few simple words and a numb heart I prayed a silent prayer. I felt my phone vibrate, I knew this was not the time to be checking my sms, but I did anyway. I don't recall the exact verse but it was something as do not be afraid, I will teach you the words you need to speak. I was comforted, I felt strong, and there was the peace of God descending on me. It was sent by a Hindu classmate, who was not even a friend. God works in mysterious ways. It was a success. It was another important lesson for me - To prepare well in the time God has given me.
Why is it that rational human beings are ready to believe in coincidence, chance or luck but not on God. Why is it that when we have everything, it is very difficult to find the time to sit with Him who gave us the air to breathe, and a family to love. When God in all his goodness and greatness yearns to talk to us, who are we mere mortals who have time for whatsapp, shopping and work, fret that time for family prayer is hard to get? The end is very near. Why, I might not even finish this book I am absorbed in reading at the moment. The future that I am worried about, I might not live to see it after all. Who knows what tomorrow has in store for us. But time invested in God and love is never futile. They prepare us for eternity.
I might not have the talent of reaching out to masses with God's word, but I sure can write. A good friend told me that just because God answered my prayers doesn't mean He would answer hers. He is as much my Father as hers, and we are loved equally. And who knows how many of us call them coincidence and luck after God had answered a prayer? I personally would be very hurt if someone calls all my help as coincidence and luck. I can only imagine how much pain we cause God. Our trials may be different, but for those who trust in him, the end is victory for sure. I thank God for all his blessings and end with my favorite prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr[:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.